A Good Birth Story #2!

So, lets start at the beginning... I think it is important to document positive birth stories. When you are pregnant you are bombarded by horror stories; from well meaning family, friends, complete strangers etc. as well as on social media and the numerous parenting forums. As a person who is classed as high risk due to a raised BMI there is also the added pressure and guilt of the extra risks you are putting on you and your baby. Before my first son was born I was convinced that I was too fat to have a good birth, I was definitely going to have my own horror story to tell. But if you would like to revisit my previous post 'A Good Birth Story!' you will see that I had an almost textbook labour and birth, with only gas and air, which lasted around 8 hours.

Anyway, I again headed towards my due date drowning in horror stories and guilt; although maybe with a little more faith that I could have an easy labour - if conditions were favourable. Baby was due on 9th September, I had my final consultant review on the 7th. I saw a very thorough and efficient Middle Grade who surprised me with the offer of a sweep that very day. I was slightly horrified as I had not prepared the old vag for public display, I didn't even have a wet wipe with me!! I did however have a wild 3 year old and no responsible adult! So, Casper sat by my head, held my hand and asked appropriate questions ("Where are your pants Mummy?"), the news was good though, my cervix was looking "...very favourable...". Thank goodness for nursing keeping me on my feet and working that cervix hard!

That evening and night I thought I was having stronger Braxton Hicks that normal, but essentially ignored them. They did, however, become stronger and more regular, and at around 2am I got up for a wee and the lovely mucous plug evacuated the building, swiftly followed by some spurts of amniotic fluid. Contractions were still very mild and irregular so I attempted to sleep until I couldn't ignore them, at around 4am I rang the labour ward to inform them about the events of the night and warn them of my previous quick labour. They advised to come in when contractions were regularly 5 mins apart - the usual advice. At 6am I decided we should start to make a move to avoid the morning traffic so I woke the Man, rang my mother to come to sit with Casper.

On arrival at the hospital labour had slowed right down so I felt like a fraud, but they hooked me up to their contraction monitor, took some swabs to check if my waters had really broken (they had!!), established that I was only 3cm dilated,  and brought in every passing doctor they could find - the night doc, the day doc, the consultant and his herd of juniors and a lovely anaesthetist who I used to work with. I had a lovely, and very thorough midwife who was concerned about some mild deceleration of the babies heartbeat around my contraction. No one else was concerned, and it turned out not to be an issue but the consultant wanted me kept on the monitor just in case. This was rather fortuitous because they had been muttering about sending me home, I advised against this due to the speed of arrival of Baby #1. Jokes were made that maybe Baby would be here before the lunch trolley...

At about 10am I asked to be allowed to walk around to try and get things moving. I was granted one hour off the machine as baby seemed to be behaving! So I paced, rocked, lunged and moaned my way through stronger contractions until I had to get back on the bed so I could use the gas and air - it makes me feel like I will fall over so I voluntarily got back on the bed. At 11am the midwife returned and looked pleased that I now appeared to be in active labour she hooked me back up the monitor and suggested another to internal exam to assess how dilated I was. She went to get a senior midwife to assist and to look at the monitor as a fresh pair of eyes (standard practice in midwifery I gather), when she returned at 11.30, she gasped and exclaimed "You're going to have a baby!". I was under the impression that that was what I was there for, so wasn't too shocked. Various trolleys were brought in and a very useless cannula was inserted, and promptly fell out again. The instruction to "...push when I felt I needed to..." was called and I pushed as I had been trying not to for a while due to being on my own! 

At 11.45 (just before lunch at 12!) beautiful Baby Felix was born weighing a healthy 8lb 8.5oz (thank goodness he wasn't late), with everyone looking a bit shocked. I can not describe that feeling when you do that final push and the baby slides out, the relief is like nothing on earth, I'm sure it's why some people get addicted to having babies! And with that, the world's hungriest baby was placed on my chest already sucking his hand to tell me how starving he was, unlike his brother who had to be woken for his first feed. We managed to 'wait for white' (delayed cord clamping) to allow the blood in the cord to flow back into the babies circulation before I had the syntocinon injection to deliver the placenta. Due to my raised BMI and a previous very minor post-partum haemorrhage I was worried they would say I was too high risk to delay getting the placenta out, but both the midwives were really positive and enabled us to see how it went - obviously I had said that if it looked like there was issues then just do what ever needed to be done. I fed Felix while an efficient but obviously non-vagina owning doctor stitched me up, and we waited for our first visitors - Nanny (my Mum) and a very proud Casper!

Compared to my first labour I felt much more in control, and
the pushing stage wasn't such a rush - Casper flew out AT SPEED! Because I got to the hospital earlier I was able to communicate my wishes much better, and the journey in was much more pleasant. It just seemed like the second birth wasn't such a shock to the system; I was up at about by the time Mum arrived (much to her surprise) and we were discharged that evening with feeding already well established. Both labours were a similar length, and I used the same pain relief, but the second one seemed much more gentle and I felt more present and involved in the whole process. Bring on #3 hey??!

Blog Motivation!

I have just noticed that it has been a year since I last wrote a blog post - how blooming awful of me! I do have a tendency to start things and not follow them through, please refer to my thousands of failed diets, countless money making schemes and my son's baby book. But I want to keep this blog alive and so have decided to restart it at a point in my life when I have some big changes happening.

The first and biggest is that I am currently on maternity leave, awaiting (not very patiently) the arrival of our second child. I will use this to inspire posts related to the challenges of increasing our family size and the changing dynamics of becoming a 2 child family - I don't think Casper has any idea of the impact that Hurricane Baby will cause!

Secondly, I have just turned 30. It doesn't seem so bad when I say it quickly! This has made me feel more motivated than ever to sort my life out in regards to my weight. I can not waste another 15 years feeling miserable about my body. I am going to avoid 'dieting' - it is a vicious cycle which inevitably leads to failure for me. I will be focusing on healthy eating, and living a moderate life style. I plan to purchase a fitness tracker with my birthday money and will aim to get moving everyday once the baby is here. I do not expect this to be a quick process, but I will be using the public forum of this blog to document my progress and motivate me to keep going.

Thirdly, I want to make a dent in our household debt with the aim to make us a mortgage-able as possible, and potentially start saving for a wedding... This may not be entirely possible while on mat. leave, but I shall certainly be making an effort! Watch out for some more, rather boring posts regarding this!!

So, let's do this! I hope that at least some of what I write about will be interesting to you, please comment, like, share etc. I will crave human interaction while I'm not working!!! xxx

Sleep Talk

Since HC arrived in our lives nearly two and a half years ago sleep has been an on-going issue! Initially he only slept lying on me, so for 12 weeks I slept propped up on pillows and Casper slept on my chest. For the next 6 months he would only fall asleep being rocked by me, then he was put into his moses basket/cot and would sleep for a few hours, when he woke up we went straight to him and either rocked him to sleep in our arms or rubbed his back until he fell back to sleep depending on how upset he was and his age- as soon as he could roll he only slept on his front.

When HC was 9 months old I returned to work so he had to learn to sleep with The Man too, so the same routine continued, except that he came into our bed wen he woke in the night because we were both too knackered to persevere and keep him in his cot. Until he was about a year when I decided that he was too old to be being rocked to sleep so we sat next to him in our bed until he fell asleep, using various methods of restraint (generally a well placed arm), when he was asleep we moved him into his cot, but as he got older we ended up just leaving him in our bed as he always woke up in his cot and we weren't getting proper nights sleeps. In our bed he sleeps all night but The Man sleeps in the spare room as he is an awful sleeper too and struggles to sleep when we are all in the same bed.

Understandably this has done nothing for our relationship and things have got to change! So the next step is to take down the cot and put up a single bed in Casper's room and then we can sit with him in that bed or get in with him in the night if we need to but we can have our bed back and some actual adult alone time!!!

But as for baby/toddler sleeping in general I have 3 main thoughts:

1. Take the path of least resistance - I do not believe that controlled crying is good for anyone in this house - obviously each family is different but I know I could not have done it and Casper has always been a very determined character and get hysterical very quickly.
2. This too shall pass - I know that he will not be sleeping in our bed when he is 14 so eventually it will all come right. 
3. It's only a problem if you think it is a problem - I always loved cuddling my sleeping baby, I quite like having him asleep next to me and I wouldn't change how we have got to this point. Everyone has got to do it the right way for them and you get so much advice about all aspects of parenting but you will only regret going against your gut instinct, so do what suits you and your family.

 Actually, this is what I think about most parenting issues! Pleas feel free to add any thoughts or tips in the comments. xx

10 Things...Holiday Edition

10 Things We Took On Holiday That We Really Didn't Need!

1. Teddy Bear &
2. Story Books - I actually thought that we would continue our normal bedtime routine...Fool!
3. Socks for me when I'd only packed shoes that I don't wear socks with...
4. Vests for Casper- I think even I can agree that 26 degrees is warm enough to go without!
5. Towels- they are heavy and the hotel provided them, which I would have known if I had actually read the info instead of skim reading it. My aunt brought micro fibre towels for going to the beach- they are lightweight and fold up very small, I shall be investing in some before the next holiday.
6. A really uncomfortable bra which creaks when I move - definitely should have tried it on before taking it away. 
7. Three shirts for The Man who hates wearing shirts and only wore one of them for approx 20 minutes as it was too hot and uncomfortable. We were only away for 5 days and knew we wouldn't be doing anything too formal. 
8. A book for me to read- I absolutely did not have time to sit and read!
9. A handbag, everything we took out with us went in The Man's pockets or on the buggy. My hand luggage bag would have been just fine without a handbag as well.
10. An empty tube of deodorant..the full one was on the kitchen table at home...don't pack with a rampaging toddler assisting!

10 Things We Didn't Take That We Really Should Have...

1. Sun Hats for all three of us - I also left these on the table at home because I am a dick!
2. Sun Glasses - see above.
3. The Athens guidebook - see above!!!
4. A variety of sun cream - I only took factor 50, mainly for Casper, but I have olive skin and 50 is a little overkill for me. 
5. Toddler Milk in ready mixed cartons - we don't use this anymore but it would have been very handy for a pre-bed drink as Casper usually has a beaker of cow's milk at home. I thought it would have been easy to source while away but it wasn't really so he just had water instead. I wasn't too worried as we weren't away for very long but the cartons would still have been handy!
6. A light baby blanket - it would have been very useful for naps in the push chair and on the plane. 
7. A book for The Man to read- he doesn't like afternoon naps or sleeping on anything that isn't a bed so he would have had time to read. I would pick a nap over almost all activities - I fully blame nursing for this, before I started my training I never napped now it's whenever I can squeeze one into my day!
8. A really bright luggage tag - I hate the baggage carousel anxiety; a disgustingly loud tag would have made it much easier to spot our bag. It's another thing to add to the list for the next holiday (we are off to Oman in September).
9.  Nipple Cream - not for nipples but for almost everything else! I use the Lasinoh Lanolin Nipple Cream as lip balm; barrier cream when Casper has a sore bum and on all of us if we get sore/dry skin. It is a life saver and would have been lush on my sun burnt shins and on Casper's legs where his swim nappy rubbed.
10. More snack food for Casper - I pack lots for the plane journeys but didn't think about the days that we were there. We were in a pricey hotel so we avoided eating there at all costs! But this did mean we sometimes had quite big gaps between meals, so Casper ended up picking on foods that I would not normally give him so often (packets of crisps and biscuits) which were easy to get and throw in a bag. But if I had been more prepared I could have brought dried fruit or baby snack foods with us to tide him over. 

This was our first abroad holiday so I don't think we did too badly but there is definitely things to remember and change for the next trip!

Things I Have Only Said Since Having A Baby...

1. Please don't rub pork in your hair.
2. Why is there a tombliboo in the grill?
3. Can you take your tummy out of my tomatoes?
4. Don't kiss the drain!
5. Please don't put jelly in your pocket...
6. Get out of the washing machine!
7. *screams* He just hit me with a bottle of rice wine vinegar! 
8. Do not put anything in the toilet that you expect to get back out.
9. Did the dog just eat your poo??
10. No, don't poke the spider, just wave hello.
    
    
     I'm sure there will be many more! Have you got any to add?

A Good Birth Story!

Alright, so tonight I want to document the story of HC's birth- mostly for selfish reasons (I want to store it so I don't forget) but also because I had a positively lovely labour and birth experience and I know that when I was pregnant I was bombarded by scary birth stories- they're just not helpful! I read a wonderful book called The Good Birth Companion by Nicole Croft (which I would highly recommend, but I'll do a full post about this book soon), she writes that in other cultures birth is not seen as a painful thing and it is partly our cultural expectations which lead us to feel as much pain as we do. Not that birth isn't painful but staying as relaxed as possible definitely helps!

So I started to feel some weird tightening feelings across my belly during the day, and I was really struggling to wee- I was having to sort of lift the baby up so that urine would come out- I decidedly ignored these signs, HC was 10 days late and I had decided that he was saying in there forever, I went shopping with my Mum and said nothing to her. By dinner time I had noticed that the tightenings were becoming more regular, almost 30 mins apart, I mentioned this to The Man but continued as normal. When we went to bed at around 11pm they were definitely contractions and were too uncomfortable to sleep through so I got up at about midnight and told The Man that I was in labour but he was to get some sleep and I would wake him when I needed to.

I went to get a towel to sit on in case my waters broke on the new sofa, I felt them go on the way back to the chair but was able to hold them in (I believe that my waters did not fully break as they came in fits and spurts not a huge gush) until I got to the loo where I passed the good old mucus plug. I then rang the labour ward of my local hospital and told them the story, the midwife felt that I was probably in labour "Well you are 10 days overdue, so it is likely to happen at some point!", and advised to come in when the contractions were 5 mins apart and the pain was too much to bear. So I took some paracetamol, opened my contraction timer app, put on a documentary I had recorded about the Nazis and finished writing my Xmas cards.

As each contraction came I breathed deeply, stood up/ leant on the back of the chair and rolled my hips until they had passed, thinking "This is one less contraction until I meet my baby, I will not have it again and this will not last forever". By 4.30am things were getting more uncomfortable so I took more paracetamol and ran a bath- this woke The Man so I updated him and told him to get dressed After my bath, contractions were regularly 5 mins apart and pretty painful so I rang the ward to say we were coming in. I got dressed- why I didn't just put pajamas on I shall never know, I'm pretty sure I was a bit delirious!

The drive in was the worst part- during contractions your tail bone is moved backwards which is why people in labour often don't want to be sat down or lying on their backs. I felt nauseous and hot, but we made the half hour journey safely. We arrived at approx. 6am, just before handover from day to night staff so the admitting midwife wasn't keen to do a vaginal exam as the morning shift would only need to do it again soon. I requested gas & air and after a minor disagreement about a TENS machine (I didn't believe it would help, she thought I should try,.. I didn't have it!) I got the Entonox- it is very weird, it is like you are drunk- you can still feel the pain but it's like it's not yours or you are too distracted to focus on it. I needed to be on the bed when using it as I felt like I'd fall over!  I had a massive hospital bag packed but all I really wanted was my lip balm and silence- The Man put the radio on for about 30 seconds before getting The Look...

By this point the contractions felt almost constant and were very intense. They wanted a urine sample which I couldn't produce as it felt like I would push the baby out! While I was in the bathroom the morning midwife came in and was chatting to The Man, I heard her say "Don't worry, we'll check her now but she's probably only 4cm dilated" I was nearly suicidal- if it was this painful at 4cm I would not cope with another 6cm! I went out and had this conversation:

"I need an epidural."
"Let me just check you first..."
"Go and get the anesthetist- it's Sunday, there'll only be one on. And on the way back bring the pethadine"
"Will you just let me check you first?"
"Fine"

So I hobbled onto the bed between contractions. They couldn't get a trace on the fetal monitor - I think due to my fat belly and the baby being so low, but at the time they thought he was back to back (essentially when the baby is the wrong way round and your spines are pushing together making contractions very painful and labour longer as the pointy bit of the head isn't pressing on and opening the cervix) I had heard stories- and demanded a C.Section! The midwife reassured me and got the monitoring lead that attaches to the babies head, while placing this she also performed a vaginal exam: "Oh! You're fully dilated...I'll be right back!"

She came back with the senior midwife - standard practice I believe- and told me I could push when I felt like I needed to. As soon as I knew I was fully dilated my whole perception of the pain changed- it is meant to hurt when you are squeezing out a baby so lets get on with this, it's perfectly normal!. I was determined this baby was coming out, I was done with all this! After the first contraction that I pushed I said to The Man "It hurts!" and the senior midwife said "Well you are having a baby!", but I was too delirious to care, I even think it is pretty funny now! After the second one I was convinced that he was never coming out, so on the third I really went for it and HC slid out all in one go- I
should have stopped once the head was out but I didn't think about that and had a lovely tear- that'll learn me to listen to instructions!!!

Our beautiful slimey baby was born at 9.10am and put on my chest and we cuddled for a long time while they stitched me up- it was a bit of an ordeal, worse than the labour actually. But they'd given me back the Entonox which I'd thrown away in disgust when the midwife had said that it makes it harder to push! The Man went to ring family, my Mum had wanted to be there but I didn't want to wake her until we knew how far along I was and by the time we did it was too late! I reckon I had about 9 hours of proper labour, only 3 in hospital and just 20 mins of pushing, which I think is pretty good going for a first baby- maybe I'll do it again!

It's All Blues and Twos!

I am not working until tonight so I have all day to play with the monster. We have mostly been out in the garden- HC loves being outside more than anything. But we have also been playing with his building blocks- which are actually my old blocks from when I was his age! I am trying to persuade HC to engage with colours and counting at the moment, so we were sorting the bricks in to piles of the same colour- which are all "Blue" according to HC- he is able to sort them into the right piles but will not say any colours except blue! We also build towers and count how many bricks are in the tower, the only number HC will say is two, although he did say "One two three GO!" when he forgot I was listening the other day...

HC's speech is generally pretty good he is just very stubborn- in many aspects of life but especially with requests to say specific things- here is an example of such a conversation:

"Casper, can you say three?"
"Bob Dylan"
"Bob Dylan??? Can you say three?"
"Mummy, where's the dog?"

But with enough repetition from The Man and I things do eventually seep into his vocabulary- "thank you" being a prime example, after weeks of pointed hints he suddenly shouts "FANK OOO MUMMY" at an appropriate time- so proud!

Monty took the opportunity to sunbathe by the potty...of course.