2018 Health Mission - Week 2

This week has definitely been a week of two halves - weekdays when I have been really good and made positive, healthy choices, and then the weekend when I completely self sabotaged and went back to my previous poor habits. It has highlighted to me some of my triggers around emotional eating , like when I ate nearly a whole packet of chocolate chips out of my baking cupboard after a fairly minor argument with The Man... and to take some positives from the negatives it has helped me to focus on the areas I need to put the most effort in to changing. I am going to swap my weigh and measure day to Friday as I think a good result may motivate me to remain positive through the weekend. 

Things That Went Well

• During the week I limited my snacks to only one a day at around 3pm.
• I also managed to stop eating by 8pm every weekday night.
• I read a lot of information on the Action On Sugar website which has motivated me to reduce my own, and my children's sugar intake.

Things To Improve On

• I still weighed myself nearly everyday, and most nights too.
• All my good work went out the window at the weekend.
• I only need a small emotional upset for me to start snacking. 

Weight Lost : 

Week: 2lb

Total: 2lb

Goals For This Week

• Only weigh myself on Friday morning.
• Read about emotional eating and techniques to combat it.
• Aim to get out for a walk everyday.

2018 Health Mission - Week 1.

I really struggled with the title for this post - I am once again putting my energy and focus into reducing my weight, but I am really trying to do it differently this time. I want to avoid the negative cycles which I have got stuck in throughout my life (I started dieting when I was around 10, after being told I was fat at 5 years old). I want to avoid the word 'diet' as it puts me in to a specific mindset and immediately I feel deprived and restricted. So, I am going to set myself achievable goals to improve my nutritional intake and fitness levels with the overall aim to lose 9 stone.

I am classed as morbidly obese, although thankfully this has not impacted on my health -yet - I am very aware that I am getting older and the risks of being as heavy as I am are increasing. My eldest son starts school in September and I am acutely aware of how embarrassing I will be for him in my current state!  But, I need to move away from the negative commentary in my head as I believe that if I can feel like I deserve to treat myself well it will lead to a huge improvement in my motivation to lose weight for the long term.

So, this weeks goals are to:

1. Decrease the amount of snacks I consume between meals. I particularly love sweet snacks - biscuits, chocolate, cake...and will happily graze on them all day; so by trying to only have one snack a day I will greatly reduce my overall calorie intake but also by refined sugar consumption.

2. Not eat after my evening meal. I have got into the habit of eating a pudding, or picking at snack food after the kids are in bed. I will try to stop eating by 8pm, unless it is a special occasion. This hopefully simple step will also greatly reduce the calories and refined sugar I consume.

3. Make an effort to educate myself about a topic related to nutrition/weight loss. I figure that this will help to motivate me to stick to my goals by increasing my knowledge about good nutrition.

4. Not weigh myself everyday! This is a bad habit I have slipped into and can set me up for a bad day before I've even brushed my teeth. Monday will be weigh day, and I will use a tape measure to record reductions in inches as well.

I plan to do one post a week related to my 'Health Mission', so I will be back for an update next week - send positive thoughts my way please!!

Blog Motivation!

I have just noticed that it has been a year since I last wrote a blog post - how blooming awful of me! I do have a tendency to start things and not follow them through, please refer to my thousands of failed diets, countless money making schemes and my son's baby book. But I want to keep this blog alive and so have decided to restart it at a point in my life when I have some big changes happening.

The first and biggest is that I am currently on maternity leave, awaiting (not very patiently) the arrival of our second child. I will use this to inspire posts related to the challenges of increasing our family size and the changing dynamics of becoming a 2 child family - I don't think Casper has any idea of the impact that Hurricane Baby will cause!

Secondly, I have just turned 30. It doesn't seem so bad when I say it quickly! This has made me feel more motivated than ever to sort my life out in regards to my weight. I can not waste another 15 years feeling miserable about my body. I am going to avoid 'dieting' - it is a vicious cycle which inevitably leads to failure for me. I will be focusing on healthy eating, and living a moderate life style. I plan to purchase a fitness tracker with my birthday money and will aim to get moving everyday once the baby is here. I do not expect this to be a quick process, but I will be using the public forum of this blog to document my progress and motivate me to keep going.

Thirdly, I want to make a dent in our household debt with the aim to make us a mortgage-able as possible, and potentially start saving for a wedding... This may not be entirely possible while on mat. leave, but I shall certainly be making an effort! Watch out for some more, rather boring posts regarding this!!

So, let's do this! I hope that at least some of what I write about will be interesting to you, please comment, like, share etc. I will crave human interaction while I'm not working!!! xxx

The Body Cofidence Program - Week 8 & Beyond!

Many apologies for the delay in writing this final post - what can I say? My old laptop died and I had to buy a new one, but here we are all sorted and ready to go!

It has now been a few weeks since I completed The Body Confidence Program and I have had a chance to reflect on how it all went and the changes I have made to my life since finishing it. I reduced by over 30 inches which was so much more than I ever imagined that I would have done so that feels amazing and is a huge motivator to continue the healthy habits that the program teaches you.

I now limit my snacking between meals, and tend to opt for a protein based snack with some fruit/veg. I don't crave sweet things so much, especially after my evening meal as I had been in the habit of eating something sweet every night after dinner; but now I stop eating after my last meal of the day - I could never quite manage to have my last meal at 7pm though! I blame shift work!

I am currently working through a couch to 5K program and feel like I have much more energy and motivation. Before starting the program I had been very lethargic - napping almost everyday that I didn't work when Casper did. Now, unless I am working nights I rarely feel
that I need a nap in the day. I continue to struggle with early nights, but I am working on it...

I dropped a dress size and definitely feel more confident in my own skin - I don't feel like I need to apologise so much for taking up space in the world. I feel less self-destructive and like I deserve to eat well and look after myself properly which are huge mind shifts for me!

Ru-Tee is a force of nature! I am so thankful to her and the time she gave to me. I continue to be inspired be her advice and passion - she has helped me so much to get out of a rut that was ruining my life, relationships and mental health. There is still much to work on both physically and mentally but I feel like I have broken through the barrier that was holding me back.

The Body Confidence Program - Week 6 & 7!

Apologies for missing a week - what can I say? My organisational skills are below par! I have had two good weeks though and this post is all about positivity to balance out last weeks miserableness; I reduced by 3 inches in week 5 and 4.25 inches in week 6 which gives me a total reduction so far of 29.5 inches!!! This is absolutely incredible and here are the good things I have noticed and positive changes I have made while on the program:

• Clothes that were previously tight and uncomfortable are now looser and much more comfortable.
• I have voluntarily exercised at last once a week, sometimes two, for the last few weeks. I aim to increase to three sessions a week but this is already such an improvement on before and highlights the increase in my energy levels.
• I rarely crave sweet things and often pick nuts and fruit as a snack even on treat days!
• I am now happy to eat the last meal of the day and then not eat again until the morning - I had got in the habit of always having something sweet after dinner and then picking at snack food until bedtime.

I have two weeks left on the program so I need to stay focused and keep going all the way to the end. I plan to get back to using the meal planner as I have been making up my own meals from the food list, My main goal now though is to actually be nice to myself and be proud of what I have achieved without letting my negative internal dialogue win and set me on my usual self destructive dieting cycle!

The Body Confidence Program - Week 5.

I had a much better week than I expected and lost 5.25 inches, giving me a total reduction of 22.25 inches at the halfway point. I am obviously delighted by this but I am also feeling a bit low this week for these reasons:

1. I have lost more inches than the program promises but I certainly haven't lost any dress sizes. My clothes feel like they fit better but I am not going to fit in a smaller size any time soon.
2. I don't feel any different,no one has said that I look any different and I can't see much difference in the pics I took to compare with the start. I guess I just set unrealistic expectations for how I would look by the time I had lost 16 inches.
3. The number on the scales hasn't changed at all. I know that Ru-Tee doesn't like you to weigh yourself until the end of the 8 weeks but it is a hard habit to break for me - I have managed to limit myself to one weigh a week though which is a great improvement. I was just hoping to have lost actual weight by now, especially as I have 8 stone to lose, there is no way that I will drop dress sizes without losing weight.

So all in all I am going into week 5 feeling very unmotivated - I will need to sort my head out, and quickly if I am to avoid throwing away my good work up to this point.

(Apologies for no pics - technical issues I'm afraid!)

The Body Confidence Program - Week 4

Week 3 has been my most difficult on the program so far. I have returned to work and got a dental abscess which has greatly reduced the types of food I could eat- anything cold was too much for my already sensitive teeth. I picked at off plan foods on everyday because I wasn't sticking to the eating every 4 hours rule so my blood sugars were fluctuating and I was drawn to easy, sugary foods. But, after saying all that I still reduced by 3 inches! My total after 3 weeks is 17 inches so I am looking at week 4 as a new week, no more rubbish excuses.

I am becoming a little disheartened that even though I have reduced by the 16 inches the program promises I am not feeling any different. I am definitely not 2 dress sizes smaller, I suspect this is because I am much bigger than the average program user so have much more to lose. I think I will do an interim before and after picture at the end of week 4 to try and spot the differences.

I have purchased a treadmill - or a run-miller as Casper calls it! I have started the couch to 5k program using an app on my phone and it hasn't been too awful so far...so it is all positive and I must have more energy because I wouldn't have managed to motivate myself to even try a few weeks ago.

The Body Confidence Program- Week 3

So, this post is rather late because of night shifts and dental abscesses! But at the end of week 2 I have reduced by 10 inches!!! TEN FREAKING INCHES! Understandably I am very pleased, but I am getting impatient that my clothes don't really feel any different yet, but as The Man keeps telling me - just keep going, it's all going in the right direction.

I have been enjoying the food and am even eating tomatoes - I have hated tomatoes my whole life! I have struggled more to be really strict with the rules which is an ongoing pattern with me and diets, so I need to try really hard to keep my head in the game going in to week 3.

My other goal this week was to get more exercise in to my life. So Casper and I have been on some lovely walks when it has been sunny and I have purchased a treadmill for rainy days. I have noticed that my energy levels have been improving but I am unsure if this is because I have been on annual leave so haven't worked a night shift for two weeks....

I am back to work this week so I will have to up my organisation game to ensure I stick to the meal plan and don't slip back into bad habits. Wish me luck!

The Body Confidence Program - Week 2

So I've reached the end of week 1 on The Body Confidence Program, and I am very pleased to report that I have lost 4 inches in total! The weekly goal is 2 inches a week so I am very pleased with 4. I now need to keep focused into week 2, I often manage to be really good for the first week of a diet, have good results then let it all slip for the second week.

I have generally found the first week easy - I haven't felt hungry or really craved sweet things. The food has all been delicious and simple to prepare, although I do feel a bit like all I do is shop for food, prepare food and cook food - I'm hoping that this will feel like less of a chore as the weeks go on! What I particularly like is that it is all food that the whole family can eat, I just add a carbohydrate for The Man and HC. When I have done diets like The Cambridge Diet I get quite miserable because I am only drinking milkshakes while everyone else has proper food, so it is nice to still feel normal, and not having to cook food that I'm not going to eat - there really is nothing worse!

Things to work on for next week:

• Keep drinking enough water - I find plain water very boring and struggle to drink a lot of it. I would usually add some squash to it, but this is not allowed on this plan, so I just need to put my big girl pants on and get on with it! 
• Try to do some exercise - I have been very unmotivated with this for a long time now.
• Get organised with my food prep as I go back to work next week - I have had 2 weeks annual leave. If I am to be successful I will need to make sure I have prepared all my meals the day before a shift.
• Don't let treat day affect the days either side of it! I find myself thinking at 8pm the day before "well, I'll be eating this tomorrow, so why not now?" and at 8am the day after "I ate this yesterday, it will be OK to eat it now too..." 
• Keep a check on my 65% protein/35% everything else proportions. It is easy to pile the plate high with all the veg! 

The Body Confidence Programme - Week 1

So, on Saturday I started an eight week diet and lifestyle programme called The Body Confidence Program. It is basically involves a gluten and dairy free meal plan - which has helpfully been devised by Ru-Tee who has loads of relevant experience. There are also rules designed to instill healthy habits such as getting enough sleep and drinking enough water. The course costs £450 for 8 weeks of daily email support and a weekly phone call along with the meal plan and resources in the members area of the website - I have been lucky enough to be offered a free place in return for regular blog entries. So here we go!

I was really excited to start and the meal plan came through on the Wednesday before we stared which put many of my fears to bed - Would it be complicated? Would I like the food? Would I be hungry? The most exotic ingredients so far are a pea protein powder and coconut oil, both of which I purchased before hand via Amazon for a reasonable price. The meals are all super simple to prepare and cook and the menu has been thoughtfully arranged so as to use up leftovers. The food is also so filling, I can honestly say that I have not been hungry even once in the last 2 days - infact at least one I have had to make my self eat so as to avoid big gaps between meals - one of the tips to stabilise your blood sugar levels through the day. But most importantly the meals are so tasty, even The Man and Casper have willingly ate them!

Things I am finding easy:

• Eating yummy, fresh food.
• Preparing and cooking the meals.
• Drinking lots of water.

Things I am struggling with:

• Going to bed early - night shifts really ruin a sensible routine.
• Not eating after 7pm - I often don't get home from work until 8.30, also night shifts are an issue again. I plan to bring this up at next week's conference call.
• Chewing my food 35 times - you really wouldn't believe how hard this is when you have been used to rushing meals and not concentrating on eating! I am getting better but it will definitely take some practice.

Ozeri Bathroom Scales and Pedometer Review.

Last week I was kindly sent two products from Ozeri to review, the Ozeri Touch Total Body Bathroom Scale and the Ozeri 4x3 Sport Digital 3D Pedometer. As I have previously discussed I am currently trying to lose weight so these products came at just the right time!

Ozeri Touch Total Body Bathroom Scale
Amazon Link

The scale looks stylish and minimalist, I think it would fit nicely into most bathrooms but it is also very slim so you could easily put it in a cupboard or somewhere similar if you didn't want it on display. It also comes in white. The LED display is clear and easy to read, even with my rubbish eyesight! The scale turns on automatically when you step on it and turn off again a few seconds after you get off, I believe the supplied batteries will last a long time. 

It is also very easy to use, the instruction manual is very easy to follow and also includes educational material about what the different measurements mean - the 4 metal pads can measure your body fat, water and muscle percentage and also your bone mass. You can set up to 8 profiles which means you can track your weight loss etc, this is easy to do and takes only a few seconds, the scale then works out which profile is yours by how much you weigh - it is all very clever! 

There is also a tare function which allows you to weigh pets, children luggage etc by weighing yourself with and without them and then two separate numbers are displayed on the screen. There is no maths involved! This would have been a godsend before our holiday to check our luggage weights, but will also be handy when weighing Casper as we don't go to baby weigh-in very often now.

So all in all I would recommend this product, it is easy to use, accurate and looks beautiful. It will definitely be invaluable in setting healthy weight loss targets for me too! 

Ozeri 4x3 Sport Digital 3D Pedometer
Amazon Link

This pedometer is quite big which can make it difficult to attach securely to clothes but it makes it really easy to use. The display is clear and the buttons are big enough to press easily. It comes with a detachable wrist strap and a frame you can slide it into which has a clip on the bag for securing to clothes. I found it best when kept in a pocket as I was worried I would lose it if it fell off while clipped on my clothes. It is slim when you remove it from the clip frame so fits discreetly in a pocket.

The only thing I don't like is that the step counter automatically resets at midnight- I work night shifts so I would like to manually reset my steps when I get into bet at 8am. The pedometer is easy to set up once you have read the enclosed instructions and measures many different things - steps, distance travelled and calories burned - it is easy to cycle through the different displays and you can even set a step target, there is an increasing line on the step screen which shows you how close you are to your target which I find very motivating.

I probably wouldn't recommend this to people as there are similar products available, even apps on smartphones. But I enjoy using it and shall continue to try and get my 10 000 steps in!

Oh The Diets I've Known...

Apologies for the silence- I have been working nights! I have found out today that I have been accepted on a program to help you lose weight, eat better and have more energy- it starts in June so in the run up I thought I would talk about my weight-loss/gain up until this point. It is called the Body Confidence Program - expect to hear much more about it!

I have been over weight for as long as I can remember- when I was 5 a school friend told me I was fat and the label has stuck- I look back at pictures and realise that I wasn't fat, I was absolutely normal. I am classed as morbidly obese now though- my BMI is 44- and my weight is affecting all aspects of my life. I avoid social events, my relationship with The Man is suffering and I just want to curl up and die most days- not to commit suicide, but just to not have to be me any more. I avoid photographs as much as possible which makes me sad because there is hardly any photos of us as a family that I don't delete as soon as they are taken.

Over the years I  have tried many diets, generally with success for short periods followed by massive failures and weight gains well over what I had lost, these have included:

• Weight Watchers- too many numbers, too confusing.
• Slim Fast- didn't like any of the shakes.
• The Cambridge Diet- I need to eat real food, living off of shakes and bars is just too miserable for me. I did lose nearly 2 stone on this plan but could not maintain it for the long run.
• Slimming World- I lost 1.5 stone the first time round but have never motivated myself to stick to it again. On paper this seems like the best diet for me, I can't explain why I can't stick to it other than I am just feeling very self destructive at the moment- I start diets, stick to it for about 2 weeks then completely throw in the towel. 

I am beginning to think that the key to my weight loss is to try to like myself- I need to feel that I deserve to look after myself and treat myself right. My internal dialogue is, and always has been very negative especially regarding my weight- I often refer to myself as disgusting and sickening amongst other horrid things. So I plan to avoid "Diets" for a few weeks, and just focus on being my own friend for a bit, snack less, avoid sweet foods and try to be more active but all in a very low key way while I try to fix my head too! I'll keep you updated...